Extended Profile: Top Version

Because my profile at the other site has a word limit, and because not everyone will read a long profile, I am posting here what I call my "Extended Profile." This is the Top Version. (If you are a dom who wants a piece of me, then click here for the Bottom Version.)

(If you just want to play, scroll down to the bottom of this post, to the "PLAY ONLY" section.)

The following section is for those interested in something else -- namely, dating and perhaps more! The section is, admittedly, rather long-winded. If you have an aversion to reading, then we are perhaps not the best match in the dating sense and should just stick to playing. :-)

In many cases, I just want to play and have some fun, no strings attached. However, there are certain guys out there who lead me to want more than mere play. The right guy can bring out my dom impulses, in addition to the merely sadistic ones. Indeed, I am interested in finding a regular boy for both playing and spending time outside the bedroom. A submissive boyfriend, or even a slave. Thus, if you are or might be interested in that, this section is for you so that you can understand where my thinking is.

First, I do not exactly fit the general image of a Dom or a Master. I have a pronounced aesthetic sensibility. I have a rather youthful appearance, usually clean-shaven except for a goatee and sometimes a few days growth, and try to dress kinda preppy a lot of the time. While I am not feminine or flamboyant, I am not uber-masculine, either; most people can tell that I'm gay. If I am in a scene as the dom, my ideal outfit to wear in the scene would be a nice button-down shirt, dress pants, and dress shoes -- rather than leather gear. (Not that I'm categorically opposed to leather gear. After all, a full kit is kinda hot, and I wouldn't mind trying it, from time to time.) Just look at my profile photo for an indicator of my sensibility in this regard.

(Of course, don't let any of that fool you. I can be just as domineering, demanding, mean, sadistic, and brutal as my higher-testosterone counterparts. I can come up with stuff that would make the Marquis de Sade wet his pants and cry. Ok, maybe not to that extent, but you surely get my point.)

All of that relates to my second point, which is that I tend to romanticize the idea of a relationship based on domination and submission -- so much so that I practically elevate power exchange to the level of a sacrament. I find power exchange exceptionally attractive and fulfilling when it is fully infused with emotion and beauty. Though I am open to casual play, as stated earlier, my ideal is to play with you, my beloved sub- or slave-boy, in scenes that feel like choreographed dances, moving theatrical performances, mystical rituals. Intense scenes where we go places together, I and you, to places we never thought possible. (For example, this is my fantasy collaring ceremony, only with me as the Master now, rather than the slave; the idea is for it to be both emotionally intense and aesthetically breathtaking.) See also some of these essays for other examples of spiritual and ritualistic dimensions of power exchange, things that I might like to incorporate to some extent.

Third, continuing with the romantic and aesthetic theme, I see my future boy as a prized possession. My role is to guide you, protect you, comfort you, and ultimately love you. I want you to feel safe and secure and know that you are never alone, no matter how far away I am. You are mine. Part of that entails my respect for your individuality, personal qualities, and priorities and goals -- wanting you embrace and fulfill those in the process of serving me and submitting to me. I will be quite concerned with your basic physical and emotional well-being and will always take those into consideration with regard to my decision-making; you will be expected to keep me abreast of your physical/emotional states -- for example, by keeping a blog.

At the same time, you will be expected to submit. Here are some examples of my expectations:

1. When we are alone together or around fellow BDSM practitioners, I will want you to be naked, except for some ornamentation, perhaps. For example, for a rather fem or androgynous guy, I might choose a collar like this or this, with matching bracelets and anklets. In addition, a belt like one of these, a head ornament like one from this page, and foot ornaments like these. For a more masculine slave, maybe a leather collar with metal spikes with matching wrist bands and a chastity device. (Of course, if it's really cold or something, you will be allowed to dress warmly.)
   
2. Also, you will be expected to follow some degree of protocol that reflects your position. This include forms of speech, along with ways of sitting, standing, and kneeling. There will also be other rules to govern your behavior and movements when we are alone together or with other BDSM practitioners.
   
3. When we're around others or in public, we will obviously be more discreet about it, though I would still expect (a) that you engage in subtler forms of protocol and remain obedient and (b) occasionally submit to some forms of public humiliation.
4. In terms of play, it is primarily about my wants and needs. I want certain things out of a play scene, and you must do your part to help make it happen. This include a willingness to let your limits be pushed. You should specify those limits at the outset, with an expectation that many of them will be challenged -- provided that they are not emotionally or physically harmful to you. I am, however, a sadist and will expect you to submit to fairly high levels of physical pain and private and public humiliation -- though always with your physical/mental well-being in mind. (Also, I do, indeed, care about your pleasure and enjoyment, too, so you should let me know what you'd like to experience; if and when I deem it appropriate, and if you've been good, I'll see what I can do to make it happen.)
5. It is important to me to be involved in BDSM and M/s communities, so you will be expected to involve yourself, alongside me. This includes stuff like attending meetings and play parties, going to events (such as the Fetish Fair Fleamarket), participating in mailing lists and online discussion forums, educating yourself about BDSM and M/s, etc.
6. Depending on how serious the relationship becomes, I will sometimes expect you to make various changes in your life, either for my benefit or for yours. Mostly, it'd likely be relatively small things, such as the way you dress, your hairstyle, how you keep your place, etc. On the other hand, I may think of things that I feel would improve your life, so I would expect you to make an effort to implement those things in your life. Examples could include exploring a particular group or organization or taking on some kind of exercise program -- or forbidding any particularly unhealthy habits.
   

Granted, I am new to the experience of domination. I've had only a little experience as a top/dom and zero experience as an actual Master. I am well aware that I have much more to learn about dominating another human being, either in a scene or on an ongoing basis. In spite of that, though, I feel like a have several things to offer that make me a worthy candidate to dominate and ultimately own a boy:

1. Desire to learn: I am constantly educating myself about BDSM and power exchange because I take them very seriously. I visit websites, read books, participate in mailing lists and discussion forums, go to classes, talk with more experienced practitioners, and so much more. I have a certain humility about domination and mastery, such that I see myself as always able to learn more, no matter how much I've already learned. In her book Manual Creation, Master Fire writes, "I am as far along as I should be and do it as my skills allow. I am nowhere near as far along as I want to be nor are my skills as developed as I wish. These two statements will never change." Similarly, I hope to always be learning and improving. (In terms of learning from others, two of my favorites are Master Fire and Raven Kaldera.)
   
2. Slave experience: I have had some degree of experience on the "slave" end of things -- once being "under consideration" by a Master for a few weeks and once being another guy's "boy" for a few months. (Both of them are very special people with unique strengths and positive things to offer, and it helped me develop a greater understanding of the psychological mechanics on the slave end.) Granted, that is not a lot of experience, but what I learned during that time was substantial, and a lot of this is documented in my previous posts on this blog. I am continuing to reflect on the experiences and learn from them, and surely you can see that I am very thoughtful and reflective about such things. In general, I feel like these experiences have given me greater insight into the needs and issues of subs and slaves, so I would be more aware of these things when in the dominant role.
3. Caring attitude: If I am to have a slave or a boy, I see him as a prized possession: There to serve me, to bring me joy and pleasure, but also someone who means the world to me and who I want to see be happy as well. While I expect my slave or boy to be fully submissive and obedient to me, I intend to express a very caring and loving sort of domination. I want him to be happy, healthy, safe, and secure -- even if it means I need to occasionally "bend" or compromise in order to accomplish this. Though I expect devotion to my needs and wants, if some particular wants would be harmful to him, physically or emotionally, it would be my "Dom-ly" or "Master-ly" duty to forego those.
4. Taking things seriously: Although it is really implied by everything I've said earlier, I tend to take life seriously, in general. BDSM and power exchange are no exception. I place a high emphasis on learning, I like for actual play scenes to be profound and beautiful, I am serious about the commitments (both ways) in a power exchange relationship, and I care about the well-being of my boy or slave. To that end, you can always trust that I will not dismiss or neglect the important things in this area.
   

If you have read this far, then we could, indeed, be compatible in this regard. Your willingness to read indicates that you likely take BDSM and power exchange somewhat as seriously as I do. I will just list a few more things here that are important to me in a boy or slave, though all are a bit negotiable. If these describe you, let's talk more!

1. I'm mostly interested in the 20-35 age range. Younger guys are likely not mature enough, and older tends to lead to a larger age difference than I'm really into. That said, I'm open to a mature 18 or 19 year-old -- or to a 35+ guy who I click well with (attraction, personality, etc.)
2. I want a boy/slave who is intelligent, who can carry on a deep conversation at length, who can string together two or more sentences in correct and grammatical English, who doesn't feel the need to end every sentence with "Sir" (or, worse, "SIR") or "Master," and who generally uses language correctly in both speech and writing. (Of course, I'd be understanding of someone who either has not gotten a good education, speaks English as a second language, etc.) I like a guy who thinks about important issues and deep "life questions," someone who's clearly getting oxygen to his brain.
3. On a related note, it is important that the boy/slave takes BDSM and power exchange as seriously as I -- and demonstrates this! Maybe you have a blog about your own experiences. Maybe we have an intellectual discussion about BDSM, about Master Fire's book, about Raven Kaldera's writings, etc. I'm open to suggestions...
4. My boy/slave should generally be presentable, particularly as regards two features: hygeine and wardrobe. As often as possible, to the extent possible, I like for my boy to be clean, fresh, and pretty much devoid of "man smells." The only smells I want to perceive are soap, deoderant, cologne, etc. (Unless I'm in a different kinda mood, in which case I might ask you to bathe but not put on anything.)
   
5. Similiarly, anytime my boy comes to me, he should show up dressed fairly nicely -- polo and button-down shirts, khakis, nice jeans, dress shoes, those kinds of things. (Granted, whatever you're wearing will probably come off very quickly...) Doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, just nice. Obviously, this is just an ideal; in everyday life, we can't always be as clean or as well-dressed as we'd like, so I'd certainly make allowances for that.
6. I expect regular and attentive communication. We should converse daily, either by phone or by IM, and it should be clear that you are actively involved in the conversation. Short one-word responses or long silences are forbidden! In addition, I will expect you to keep a "slave blog" so that I can be updated on your everyday life. Your life should be open to me.
7. I expect cooperation. While I want to know about your needs and concerns, and about any misgivings you have regarding my directions, I don't want it to take extensive negotiations to secure your obedience. I like for things to run smoothly.

If you like what you've read so far, and if you feel like the above describes you fairly well, then let's talk more. There may be substantial potential! You may e-mail me at HeartExalted@gmail.com I look forward to hearing from you.

PLAY ONLY:

As a top, I am often more of a sadist than a dom. In many cases, I just want to restrain you and watch you writhe in pain as I slap you, pull your hair, bite you, and torment your nipples, cock, and balls. And, once I'm done with the front side, I want to turn you over and beat (and bite!) your back and ass. Finally, I want to finish by fucking your mouth or ass and blowing my load--safely, of course! (Also, if I'm into you that way, I also like kissing, making out, and cuddling.) If we could be in public, I may also want to humiliate you and see the look of absolute mortification on your face as I force you to do something really embarrassing. In those cases, I'm not interested in giving orders or being addressed as "Sir" or "Master." I just want you to suffer.
-wicked evil grin-

If we are to play, you must observe my rules:

1. Know what you would like to get from the play and what your limits are. Don't leave me guessing as to what I may or may not do to you.
2. Make an effort to use proper, grammatical English. Unless you speak English as a second language, I expect you to be able to string together several complete sentences and sound fairly educated. ALL CAPS is strictly verboten! (Emoticons and abbreviations, like :-) and :-( and "lol" and "brb" don't bother me.)
   
3. Be very hygenic. When you come to me (or I to you), I want you clean and smelling good, inside and out. If I sniff under your arm, I want to smell Right Guard, Degree, etc. If I put my face near your crotch or ass, I only want to smell soap from you being freshly washed. Indeed, as you will see below, I am very intolerant of body odor and poor hygeine.
4. Look presentable. Do not look like some fashion-impaired straight guy on his way to watch football and drink beer with a bunch of other straight guys. Maybe try to look like, I dunno, a frat guy or a Harvard student; nothing too fancy, just a bit on the preppy side. (I may, of course, ask you to dress a specific way, sometimes.)
5. When we get started, follow directions. Don't make me be forceful, unless I indicate I'm in the mood to be.
6. While we are playing, SPEAK UP! If you need to give your "go slow" word or your safeword, don't make me struggle to hear you. Effective communication is essential, not only for me, but also for your own well-being!
7. When we are finished, we may hang and cuddle for a bit, but don't be clingy or hang all over me! Don't try to linger, or get me to linger, either. When I'm ready to finish, I'm ready to finish, period! (Of course, if there is something that requires my attention, please let me know.)
8. Don't be over-attentive, clingy, or pushy with me afterwards. (That is a huge turn-off, unless I indicate that I want that.) Just be cool, and ya never know, we might play again! :-)
   

Some HARD limits: injury, permanent damage, bleeding, women, feminization of any sort, animals, kids, flame, scat, substantial bruising, b. o. /poor hygiene (no "man smells" please).

Things I'd try with the right person, if I ever have the right equipment/space and the appropriate skill: electro, sounds, needles, fisting, pee, being dom around non-BDSMers, locking restraints, cages, videotaping, photographing, full slavery. In all cases, I am strictly SSC! ("Safe, sane, consensual")